Lucid

On the last night of our last Vegas trip, Simon busted out the good stuff. Absinthe made from actual wormwood was illegal for a long time in the US, but now this Lucid stuff can be bought here.

I felt very Nicole Kidman (or, rather, Kylie Minogue?) as I gazed at the bottle.

But, to be honest, not a single one of us was glamorous or sophisticated when it came to absinthe. More like bumbling and stupid. The three of us with iPhones whipped them out and googled "absinthe how."

I think you, like, pour it in and then dump a sugar cube inside?

No, dude, you light the sugar cube first, and then the burning sugar is green and that's why it's the green fairy.

Damnit fucker, why you so stupid? First you take the slotted spoon, crack open the sugar, and then pour the absinthe over it and then shake it with cold water.

Fail, fail, epic fail.

In truth, you are supposed to take a slotted spoon, put a sugar cube on it, and pour ice cold water through it into a waiting glass of absinthe.



Where the fuck were we going to get a slotted spoon in the middle of Vegas??? Luckily, Dr. Z had brought (well, actually it's on his person, always) his Leatherman and craftily (he's very crafty - he made a house from scratch that was later bought by Miley Cyrus) created a faux slotted spoon by punching holes into the cap of a water bottle.

Not only did this work great, but the sugar cube nestled in quite a lovely way at the bottom of the cap. The pliers doubled as a spoon handle, and I saw Dr. Z smiling, pleased as punch. Cute.



A short detour to talk about the silliness of the bottle. The bottom of it looks cool and mysterious, but the eyes on it look like a slightly ree-ree Siamese cat. Like, "DER! Pour water in me and I turn milkay! Droooooool!"



Here is a photo of the whole shebang, ready to go (with GaeRae busting a move in the periphery). Not sure why the coins were necessary but it seemed important that I put them in the picture. Only at the gorgeous and decadent GVR would we be able to scare up this many glasses from just two rooms.


We did not have ice water. Why didn't we? It would have been easy with the ice machine just down the hall...fail again. As promised, the clear, greenish liquid turned milky (or as Nation would say, "melky") with the addition of warm Arrowhead. We giggled and clapped our hands.

After we took the requisite "sexy" photo (epic fail here again with the sexy photo) with our fingers casually clutching the stems of our glasses, everyone took a sip and immediately turned into 3-year-old pussies.

Ewwwwwwwww it tastes grooooooooooosssss!

Yuuuuuck I can't drink this whole thinnnnnng!

Ick I need to add some Vitamin Water to thissssss!

Please. I rolled my eyes so hard my right contact kind of popped out. It tastes fine. GOOD, even. It tastes like licorice - but like the intense Swedish licorice that turns your teeth black. I agree that the warm water wasn't helping things, but I would never mewl in the way everyone else was.

I wish I could say that we went on to hallucinate and freak the fuck out in the casino, but we didn't. I think it was because between the 10 of us, we drank maybe a third of the bottle, and then we proceeded to do half a million shots afterwards so everything got kind of muddled. I think I need to give it a proper try with the proper tools and ingredients. Oh, and without 9 lamezors crying about it.

Buy it here, DERRR!